It seems like Sunday's are the only day I can shut my A.D.D brain off long enough to write down my thoughts. Maybe it's because I choose to focus more on the "spiritual things" of life, instead of worrying about all the things I need to get done. Unless you are in it, it's hard to understand how busy the life of a mom of 8 active kids who are, "involved in everything known to man", can really be. But lately I have been thinking a lot about service and how genuinely loving and serving others has blessed my life. I think it's very fitting since November is always the month we seem to focus on gratitude.
Do I ever really have time to serve others outside of my large family? Probably not but when I do, I am much happier, more loving and I know that I'm full filling what I came to this earth to do.
We all have been given special gifts and talents by a loving Heavenly Father and he expects us to share them with each other. As I attended a recent women's conference, with 6 of my amazing friends, we were challenged to figure out what those unique talents were.
On the ride home, as we were all piled in my suburban, we talked about each person and told each other what we saw in them. I am the oldest of the group so they titled me "The Mom"....of course! These sweet friends told me of the qualities they saw in me, they are things that, sometimes, I have a hard time seeing in myself. Compassionate, caring, close to the spirit and kind are some that I remember the most. I can sing, I have an eye for fashion and those who know me...well I'm a total goof ball but those aren't the things they saw.
I started thinking a lot about what they said and began reflecting on the experiences I've had because of these talents. Many times throughout my life I have been put in someones path to help them. I hold these times sacred and count them among my miracles. Some of the experiences were smaller things but they are all equally important and meaningful to me. They are things like giving someone a ride home, paying a few extra dollars at the check stand when someone didn't have quite enough, sending flowers when I know someone is having a rough time, or listening to a friend who calls me because they just need to talk and they know I will listen.
Then there are those times that have been BIG! Life changing experiences, that have literally caused me to look back in awe. It still brings tears to my eyes, even now, as I write, that God would trust me with these precious souls, in those circumstances and allow me to be a part of something so wonderful.
Several times I have been called upon to help young teenagers through their unwed pregnancies. I was there to be a friend to them, and just to love them. If I wouldn't have had infertility issues and gone through 3 adoptions with my own sweet birth mom's, would I have the compassion that I do now, for others? The answer is NO! I had to go through that trial to be able to help these girls and to see them as Christ would see them, without judgement. Looking back I am so grateful that I went through it. I am such a better person because of infertility.
I was also blessed to help a few couples adopt. These situations were the BIG ones! There was one in particular that was especially tough for me. I had know the birth mom and her family most of my life and I felt like they were so disappointed in me. They were so hurt and angry and it broke my heart. I didn't have the strength to endure the sorrow of the situation. I prayed for help to understand' why I was asked to be involved. Why would I be sent to help in a situation where I knew the family and how devastated they would be to lose their grandchild. I was so close to them yet I was the one who the birth mom confided in. I knew in my heart for a surety that the adoptive couple was supposed to adopt this baby. So why was this asked of ME?
I remember praying and pouring my heart out to God. I was feeling complete agony and despair but when I said Amen, a peace came over me that I can't explain and I heard these words. "When much is given, much is expected". I saw my children's faces and remembered what miracles and sacrifice it took get them here. I knew that God had provided a way for me to get my children and he was doing the same in this situation, through me. After that clarity, I knew I would do whatever was asked of me but that I wouldn't be doing it alone. I knew that God would be by my side and he would be in charge. And he was!
Hearts were healed and all involved understood "why". It was still tough at the time but now 4 years later, the birth mom is married, so happy and expecting a baby with her new husband. The adoptive couple are amazing parents and the little boy is loved by so many.
I hesitate sometimes, writing such personal things. I never want to come across like I'm amazing and I deserve a pat me on the back. In fact it's the opposite. I was just an instrument in God's hands and I feel honored to have been involved in being able to bless others. These experiences were only possible because I chose to follow what God asked me to do. I know Ive missed opportunities because I am definitely human and get busy and don't always pay attention. But when I do get to be a part of something big or small, I feel so blessed. I thank God often for allowing me to be a part of his plan for these people and I am so grateful because these experiences have taught me so much.
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I've been taught my whole life how important service is. l have been so blessed more times than I can count through the kindness of others, so today I just challenge each of you to "Pay it Forward".
