When God knows better than we do.

     In junior high and high school I had dreams, Big Dream! I wanted to be a fashion designer, a physical therapist, a singer, a model and maybe even an actress. Yes, I wanted to get married and maybe someday be a mom. But I always thought I would have 2 kids, maybe 3 tops! Ha ha ha, that is pretty funny in hindsight. I was a free spirit who loved adventure. Dancing into the wee hours of the morning, sleeping out all night on the sidewalk to get tickets to the next concert, laughing until it hurt while hanging out at the mall with my girlfriends, were top priorities on my list. I also loved to travel and still do. Seeing new places and learning new things, flying to far away destinations, awesome! I also worked hard! I was "Miss Independent" and had a job at 14. I liked having my own money and my freedom. But as I grew up and started to see life in a different light, my priorities began to change. 
     I read a blog today that inspired me to share my thoughts on this subject. It was about a lady who had her seven children 

with her at the grocery store and what she wish she would have said to the insensitive, guy behind her. He looked at her children, asked if they were ALL hers and then said that he felt sorry for her. I can't tell you the rude and hurtful comments that I have had over the years. But I have also many wonderful ones as well. 

     Mattie, Max and Chance all came to me within 2 years. So I would trudge off to the store with a, barely 2 year old and 2 babies in carriers. It was usually chaos and I would hear things like 'Wow, you've got your hand full" and " Are all these kids are yours, you've been busy". I even had a lady rudely look at me and say "Oh my gosh, bing, bing, bing". I wanted to punch her lights out but instead I didn't say a word. What I wish I would have said is this, "Yes, they are all mine and they are all adopted. I can't have children and I am so grateful to be a mom!" When the twins came along, 3 years later it was even worse, and then I added 3 more kids to my family through my marriage to Matt. So you can imagine the array of things I have heard over the years. 
      Matt and I like to take them all on outings and expect the "great" comments we get, like, "OMG are these ALL your kids?" After telling them yes, I get things back, like "Well God bless you". That was actually my favorite, but for the most part it has been things like, "You gave birth to 8 kids!!" "I don't know how you do it". "I'm so glad I'm not you" and "You must be really busy." Most of the time I want to say "Do you think??? But I refrain and just smile most of or say that I am very blessed. Yes we are busy, yes it's very trying and messy and crazy and a million other things but it's also amazing!
     Infertility wasn't just a trial for me, it was a time for learning. I learned a huge amount of patience and long suffering, tools that God knew l would need in the future. I learned that I can love any child, no matter how they got here. I look at all of my children the same. Adopted, biological or my three newest additions, I honestly love them all to pieces!! I learned how to be unselfish and how to serve. I learned that there are more important things in life than all of those things that used to matter to me. Yes, I still go on adventures, I still love to sing and dance and travel but those things are minuscule, compared to the joy and happiness my children and my husband bring to my life. 
     So to those who might look at my life and feel sorry for me...well the joke is on them because I am right where I want to be. I chose this life and I was prepared for it by a loving Father in Heaven who knows me better than I even know myself. He sent me to this earth strong, stubborn and determined. He knew I would do whatever it took to help these 8 beautiful spirits, hopefully achieve greatness and become amazing human beings. I want them to know how to love, how to help others, how to treat others with kindness but most of all how to become the people that God knows they can be. 
     I may not ever get enough sleep, make it to Australia, London, or Italy ( all on my bucket list) or ever be caught up on laundry but when I watch my kids play sports, cheer at a game, play their instrument, dance, sing, draw and pray, I know I am right where I am supposed to be. For all of you mom's out there, you are amazing!