Accepting things we cannot change

Well...I have been on this earth for 43 years now. That might seem like a lot to some and not that many to others. Everyday I'm learning.

This past year has been one of learning to accept the things I cannot change. I've had to rely on God tremendously and really step back from my own wants and feelings and find peace in that.

I think that when a person grows up in a divorced or perhaps abusive home and has no control over things as a child, it causes one to be a little bit of a control freak as an adult, or...A LOT of one. Putting up walls, doing things that you can control or you can predict the outcome of, seem to be nessisary for normalcy in your life. It's hard to trust others sometimes. It's hard to put your whole heart out there for fear of it getting crushed. So you protect yourself.

As most of you know, my sweet little Cache, who just turned 12, decided he wanted to live with his dad this school year. When he first approached me about this, I was hurt, angry and totally against the idea. I was frustrated with people in my life who I thought might have driven Cache away. I became depressed and felt pretty helpless. But then one day I started to pray. I asked God what HE thought was best for Cache. I talked to Cache again and he said something so sweet and sincere. "Mom, I love you so much, I just need to be with my dad right now".

How could I argue with this? I felt in my heart that it was best for him but my head was fighting the idea with everything I had. He is a twin. He won't be with his sister. I won't see him everyday. How could I let him go?

Then one day I realized. This is not all about me and my wants and needs. This is about Cache. I ACCEPTED the fact the HE needed this. That this might be the best thing for him. It broke my heart and it is still breaks my heart. I miss him everyday but I know he's doing well and that he's happy.

So how does this relate to you?? We all have things in our lives that we can't change. We all have toxic people who might treat us badly. We have health issues or financial problems. We might be going through a divorce, caused by a spouse who is abusive, has cheated or has an addiction. We might have children who are struggling and no matter what we do or say, they won't listen to us.

The answer to all of these things is acceptance. Accept the fact that you can't change it and let it go. Focus in the things in your life you can change which is basically, yourself.

You CAN set boundaries with toxic people and even remove them completely from your life, if nessisary. You CAN learn to love and accept your child for who they are and pray that they will figure it out. You CAN move on from a divorce and find happiness again. Matt and I are going on 10 years and he is my best friend. It hasn't always been easy or perfect but we are in this together and I'm so grateful for him.

Look for the things in your life that you can change and try not to let those that you can't, bring you down. I love you my friends. Thank you for always loving and supporting me through the tough times in my life.